In the pit (again!)

It has not been one of my better weekends. I'm afraid one has been "in the pit" for a while. Fortunately I've been here before, I know the causes and the symptoms and I can usually get myself out of it. It is when people can't drag themselves back out of "the pit" that serious things can happen.

So my experience is worth a blog I reckon. Worth doing if it helps somebody else.

This is actually a really good diagram, from HealthHart.org, explaining how one can be dragged down into serious depression, but also showing that there are ways out of it. There is hope. If I've a criticism it is that anxiety should appear in this diagram too, though perhaps that's what they mean by "negative thinking"...?

I say it is a good diagram because it is similar to my experience/observation, which is that depression is like walking down a spiral staircase, accumulating a couple of extra Kg of weight with every step. Eventually you reach the stage where you physically can't go upwards, the only way onward is down into Hell, accelerating rapidly because of the weight.

Clearly, the only way out is to shed some of the weight, or gain extra strength somehow...?
But in the real world, gaining strength is often easier said than done...

In my case, when I first encountered this problem, I told the Office for National Statistics what they could do with their job. Dramatic, but it worked. I'd escaped the bad management that was causing the problem. The trouble is, once you've been that low, future resistance to the problem seems to be diminished. It can set in ridiculously easily. I know that sounds odd, but if you've experienced it you'll know what I mean...

So my experience is that it is much better to avoid the point of no return. My advice is to take early action to resolve the depression problem. Don't let yourself go too far down the spiral staircase.

So what's caused the recurrence of my problem this weekend...?

One of my inconsiderate neighbours, of course.

This one in particular has two dead cars on his driveway and has recently acquired a van which he now parks across the front of them. The car that he regularly uses thus has to be parked on the road.

Which is fine, except that if anybody else is parked where his car normally goes he'll either park so close that they can't move or he'll park either fully or partially across my drive. And if he doesn't obstruct my driveway, one of his many inconsiderate visitors might.

Parking across driveways obviously causes me a practical problem. It is doubly annoying as the dropped kerb is delineated by a white H bar. There is no excuse whatsoever...

It also causes stress, mainly because the situation is out of my control and I'm trapped, but also because I'd prefer to get on with my neighbours. I don't particularly want to be arguing with them. I get no satisfaction or pleasure out of it...

Now this obstruction problem happened yesterday, just as I was planning to nip out to Sainsbury's, so I went and spoke to my neighbour about it, trying to regain control of the situation, "dealing with the stressors" as the diagram explains it.

Neighbour reluctantly moved the car, but would clearly have preferred that I'd waited until he'd gone out himself, i.e. not inconveniencing himself at all...

As often happens with these neighbourly disputes, the guilty party tried to shift the blame onto the victim (me), for even daring to mention that there was a problem. He said he'd told all his friends and relations not to park there. "It applies to you too", said I...!

Now I would still have struggled to get my car out after he'd moved his, because it is a narrow cul-de-sac and there was still insufficient room to swing my car round. I was also expecting the argument to take off in another direction as neighbour had now parked millimetres from one of my other (more sensible) neighbours vehicles. I thus decided to have another cup of tea, not rush out onto the road whilst stressed, wait for Twat neighbour to bugger off and be ready in case any further arguments broke out...

Which subsequently got me branded a liar about wanting to go out. Nothing could have been further from the truth actually...

Anyway, my point is that this unnecessary stress sent me on the downward spiral on Saturday evening. I find it is really difficult to stop once the downward spiral has started, particularly if one lives on ones own. It was getting quite bad again. The only thing that seems to ease it, and give me a fighting chance, is sleep...

Which worked, I felt better this morning. But I was still stressed and anxious when out and about today, wondering if I was coming home to another unwanted and unnecessary argument. I could feel the downward spiral starting again...

Fortunately there hasn't been a recurrence of the obstruction problem today. That would really not have been good.

We'll see what happens next, over the next few days and weeks.

I'll close with one other pertinent thought.

1. There has been a lot of discussion recently about the 1000's of new homes that are to be built in Eastleigh, which will squeeze as many homes as possible onto the sites that are available. The development of such densely populated areas can only lead to greater incidence of these sort of social/health problems...

Make that two pertinent thoughts.

2. Do I really want to be a Town or Borough Councillor if I'm still vulnerable to this sort of health issue...? Hmmmm, maybe not, but lets see how I feel when fully recovered again.

Update 17/1/12: Just in case anybody thinks that parking issues are trivial, see this story. These parking disputes do spiral and not always into depression. I've checked with Eastleigh Borough Council and they tell me that a Traffic Order which will (amongst other things) extend the double yellow lines further into my cul-de-sac and past the front of my house should be issued in the new financial year, i.e. put out to consultation etc, so there is hope.  It takes a long time but logging these obstructive parking incidents with the Police (via 101) and the Council does help.


As for being a Councillor, I'm tending to take the view that by having experienced these problems myself, I'm better placed to understand the problems that other people are having and that's a really good place to be if doing the Councillors job. Experience of life, good & bad, is everything...